So...we had a week off! AND we are done with a third of our certification classes. Meaning, we have attended 4 classes and have 8 more to go. We have other work (packets, interviews, house preparation, CPR training) to complete, but I do believe it is encouraging to see how much progress has been made.
We had a very interesting class #4; bonding being the main topic. But, before I get into our Imaginary Journey I'll tell you about some bonding we are doing with a couple classmates. We have struck up a friendship with another couple in the class and found out they have the same adoption specialist as Josh and I. Two weeks ago we had dinner with them before our class and got to know a little more about them. For some reason, it's VERY exciting to me. It's nice to be going on a journey and have another couple to share it with. I imagine in the coming months and years we will be a resource for and friendship to one another in the situations we will experience. In an e-mail I got right before the 4th of July, D___ said "Hope everyone has a happy Independence day! Hopefully the last as 2-person households for M____ and Olmsteds. ;)" WOW! I hadn't really been thinking about perhaps this time next year we would have a little one to comfort during the fireworks, wave flags & sparklers with, and dress in red, white & blue! This thrills my heart.
This week as I shared with people the process we are going through I received some words of wisdom and encouragement.
We were able to talk with a couple who have grown children who were adopted at young ages. The first was adopted when he was 21 months old and the bond formed with his birth mother caused a lot of anger in the small boy. After he was adopted, this anger transferred to his adopted mother. There was a lot of work on her part as she patiently dealt with his anger. I appreciated this experience she shared as we don't know what we will be faced with. I'm not expecting the worst case scenario, but neither am I expecting a bed of roses. By her simply sharing, I believe it helped my mindset to be prepared for the fact we may have some difficult situations ahead. I will also say I have a deep sense of peace that whatever we are faced with, we will have the grace to meet those challenges. Somehow, it seems less scary. Especially knowing that same boy is now a perfectly normal, respectful grown adult with a beautiful family.
Today as I was sharing the process with some co-workers, one told me about a friend of hers who went through the adoption classes and were expecting to wait awhile before a child would come to them. Three weeks after completing the classes, they got a call! Needless to say, they were a little shocked! I love hearing those kind of stories. I don't anticipate that happening, but it would be nice...
And now...back to the last class. One of our instructors had us go on an imaginary journey as she read a scenario to us. Some deep emotions were brought up in a few classmates because of past experiences, but there is one thought I would like to bring out here that I learned. In this journey we imagined we were taken from our homes (as adults) and brought to a new family where I had a new husband and new children. This is of course very strange to think about, but in this journey this new family was very happy to see me. After a year of living in these circumstances without ever seeing my original family I was told I could go back to them. Not for one second did I want to stay with the second family, even though they were kind to me (please remember this is imaginary). I was very eager to get back to my original family and I wanted this other family to be understanding and supportive. Even though we are not planning to be foster parents, this did give me a very real understanding of the feelings of children who have been taken from their home, placed with a family who is very happy to see them, and then reunified with their parents. I think I naively believed foster children would be so happy to be with this wonderful new family they would never want to go back to their birth parents. How wrong I was. It was a sobering imaginary journey, but I'm glad for the lesson I learned.
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