Descriptions & Transitions

Ahhh, the suspense!

Our class on Wednesday night was on Transitions.  Transitions from a foster home to birth parents, foster home to adoptive home or foster home to adulthood.  We discussed these transitions and the impact they have on children and how we can prepare children for these transitions.  From the adoptive parent perspective we are MOST interested in the information a foster family can give to us: what kind of food did they like, do they like to be cuddled, any special stuffed animals, what calms them, etc.?  This is integrating the shared parenting model.  Not that I'm sharing my child with another family, but rather we are working together in this unique situation to provide the easiest transition for our child.

And on to the interviews.

Josh's interview was on Wednesday and he was pleased with how it went.  The nervousness he had dissipated and I believe he enjoyed the time talking about his background.  I think it was easier on me as he was able to give me a heads up on how relaxing it was.

My interview was on Thursday at 1:30.  Thank you to those who shared they were praying.

Please describe your mother's personality.
Describe your relationship with your mother growing up.
Describe your relationship now.

Describe your father's personality.
Describe your relationship with your father growing up.
Describe your relationship now.

Describe Robby's (my brother) personality.
Describe your relationship with Robby growing up.
Describe your relationship now.

Describe Joey's (my other brother) personality.
Describe your relationship with Joey growing up.
Describe your relationship now.

Describe Emily's (my sister) personality.
Describe your relationship with Emily growing up.
Describe your relationship now.

Describe your courtship.
Describe Josh.

I'm sure you get the picture.  We had to do a LOT of describing.

Towards the end I was asked to describe my marriage.  I'm not sure if this was because I had already talked for a long time and was out of things to say or if I was unprepared for the question, but my answer was "GREAT! It's good."

I was a little embarrassed, because you expect a good marriage to garner more of a response than "great."  On my way home I was thinking about my marriage and came up with the following analogy.  Do you have a favorite item of clothing?  Favorite shirt? Skirt or pair of pants?  It's something you always want to wear.  It may not be the flashiest thing in your closet, but you are happy to wear it.  It fits just right.  You can move freely when you wear it.  You feel confident in it.  It looks nice on you.  It's not usually the flashy dress up clothing that "WOW's" people for a couple hours but you are so uncomfortable you can't wait to get home to change.  It's something that fits YOU!  That's how my marriage is.  I love it!  It fits me.  I'm comfortable. I'm happy.  We aren't flashy, have a ton of money or live extravagantly, but we go together.  And that makes me smile and I do believe fall in love a little more.

Timeline Adjustment:
So, I found out that after our classes are complete we will have our "3rd" home visit.  The interviews were our second home visit.  After this home visit Jenn has 60 days to complete our Home Study which is an essay type account of our lives; we are looking at about the end of October, beginning of November.  Once she turns in the Home Study the court will read the account and then certify us to adopt.  This usually takes about six weeks.  So, naively I thought we would be in the registry when we were done with classes on August 28th, BUT we're looking more like the middle of December before we are placed on the Adoption Registry.

Frequently Asked Question: (maybe you've wondered this too) Are you working towards getting a specific child?
Answer: We are placed on the Adoption Registry and then when a child comes up for adoption if CPS feels we are a good match for the child our adoption specialist is asked to represent us at a Staffing.  Other adoption specialists are there representing their families and after each has presented, CPS chooses a family to receive the child.  We don't know who we are working towards, but we have confidence he/she will be the right one.

One last item: Jenn, our adoption specialist, informed me at the interview she has a 100% staffing to adoption placements.  Meaning: since May she has had 3 Staffings where she has represented families.  All three were picked as the family to adopt the child.  From her mouth she is VERY good in interviews and knows how to make the people like what she is presenting.  I'm so thankful we have an adoption specialist who is a go-getter.  She's not shy!