National Adoption Day & Thankfulness!

Today is National Adoption Day!  I share the following true story with you:

An Adoption Love Story


Josh and I met after we both moved to Arizona. My reasons for moving are not the purpose of this blog post, however it wasn't out of the blue that I left Kansas for Arizona.

But why did JOSH move to Arizona from Missouri?

At times I marvel at the hand of God in the details of life. I believe what the Bible says in Romans "...all things work together for good to them that love God..."  I believe it because I see it in my life. And I'm grateful for the blessing it has played.

Back in the 70's, the 1970's that is, before I was born and perhaps before I was thought of, on the north side of Phoenix a young man met a young woman, and love began to grow. As sometimes happens, they found themselves years later (1978) in a situation they were not ready for, a scenario they did not foresee. The young woman was expecting.  Unprepared for the responsibilities of parenthood the couple decided to have their baby adopted out to a couple living in the area.  Close to Mother's Day, 1979, a sweet baby girl was born, handed over to the excited adoptive parents and later on the adoption was finalized.  The small baby girl, thought to be Gina by her birth parents, grew up knowing she was adopted and always dreamed of one day meeting her birth family.  The young man and woman (birth parents) moved to Texas, eventually married, had two children, moved to Missouri and continued their lives having no contact with their child born in Arizona.

When my husband, Josh, was about 12 years old, his parents let him and his sister (Cassie) know that years before they had had a baby girl.  In Arizona. They said her name was Gina. They weren't ready to be proper parents at the time and pushed their own feelings aside to allow Gina to be raised by another set of parents who were ready.

No doubt emotions ranged from high to low. Excitement of knowing they had a sister out there. And sadness knowing it would be very difficult to find her.

Roll forward about 7 years. Josh had wandered between friends and extended family in Texas and Indiana, graduating from high school in Indiana and heading back to Missouri to work on his higher education. An admiration for his Grandfather Paul caused him to be interested in flying.  He decided to get his private pilot's license.

At this time, Josh's dad hired a private investigator to look for Gina. The year was 2001. Information on birth parent's names, the place, time and date of birth were given to the investigator and work began.  If Gina was still living she would be 21/22.  Just about 3 years older than Josh.

Back in Arizona a vivacious young lady, Erin, dreamed of meeting her birth family. Growing up with a sister and wonderful parents, she loved her life but often wondered what her birth parents were like and more importantly what was their medical history? Were they even still alive, let alone together? Her relationship with her boyfriend was growing more serious and it would be good when going into marriage to know what medical obstacles they may have to face when raising a family. Her birth parents would have this information.  So, she began to look.

On Thanksgiving Day 2001, Warren, Erin's father, had a message left on his answering machine "Erin, this is _____ (private investigator) , please give me a call when you have a chance."  Warren knew Erin had opened an investigation, so he jotted down the number and called Erin. Driving with a foreign exchange student, Erin made the phone call to the investigator who started to ask her some questions. "What hospital were you born in? When is your birthday? What is your father's name?" Time stood still for Erin as the investigator said "they're going to be so glad I found you."

Pulling over to the side of the road, Erin told the exchange student to drive as she moved into the passenger seat sobbing. The day had come, she had been found. She would find out who her birth parents were, she would get to meet them if they wanted, she would find out about their lives.

Back in Missouri a very happy man shared with his wife, son and daughter that the daughter they had given birth to those many years ago was found. She was living in Arizona. She was looking for them. Her name was Erin.

A month later a phone conversation ironed out details.  Erin was going to meet her birth mom and dad who were still together and a biological brother and sister who were fairly close to her age. Josh and his family would be meeting Erin, the sister Cassie always wanted.

On January 5, 2002, Erin boarded a plane in Phoenix, AZ that touched down in Kansas City, MO. At the airport to meet her was a nervous young man who had fought to have his way to pick her up at the airport by himself. Just him and her.  A brother and a sister.  Expecting someone who looked like Cassie, he waited anxiously for her plane to arrive.

His nervousness and personality caused him to stand on the sidelines as he watched people come through the secured area. As the plane emptied and the passengers dispersed, only one girl seemed to have been a possibility, but she was in the restroom, and she looked like a Mexican!  She was tall, for a girl, but she seemed to be the only candidate.  A plan formulated in Josh's head to see if she was the one. As she came out of the restroom and passed him on her way to the baggage claim, Josh called out "Erin?"  Her turn said she was the one.  A young man met a young woman and love began to grow.

Erin and the family had a good first visit as they learned about her life, her family, her schooling and her boyfriend, Adam. Adam was studying to become a commercial pilot at a school out in Phoenix. Josh, a restless young man, hearing about Adam, with no strong ties to hold him in Missouri changed his direction and state of where to attend flight school.  And so, in May 2002, a young man packed his car and, with his cousin as a traveling companion, left his life in Missouri and headed to Arizona.

Josh moved in with his sister in May and continued living with her until starting school. Although his life took a different direction (a good one - he met God & me!) the wheels were placed in motion for his relationship with his sister, Erin.

In April 2003 Adam and Erin were married and shortly afterwards moved to New Mexico for Adam's school.  Years later they moved back to the Phoenix area. They began to have children and became quite busy with Erin's wedding coordinating business. We were busy with work, church and friends. We would see Adam and Erin and the kids a couple times a year but our busy schedules and living on opposite sides of the city hindered our getting together; though every time we would gather we would come away knowing we both had a wonderful time.

In April 2013, Josh's mom passed away unexpectedly. We made arrangements to fly back to Missouri. Erin came too. Adam's position with the airlines allowed us to purchase reduced rate passes to Kansas City. That time of the siblings (and me, the sister-in-law) gathering together strengthened our bond. The sorrow of Josh's Mom's death and the way in which it happened allowed for a breaking down of walls that I didn't even know existed. And love began to grow more.

Perhaps you remember, or perhaps you don't, or perhaps you have not read the first blog post, but Erin is the one who encouraged and informed us of AAFC.  In my eyes, she is a huge part of helping us to start on our adoption journey.

I think of and am thankful that a young man and woman were willing years ago to be unselfish and allow their child to be adopted. I'm thankful a father was interested in looking for the girl who was a part of him. I'm thankful a young lady was willing to take a risk, open her heart and reach out to her birth family. I'm thankful to know her story and know that it has a huge impact in my life.

So, I turn this adoption story into a love story.  My love story.
How did Josh and I end up together? Why did he move to Arizona?
"Someone had a hand in it, long before we ever knew. "

What I'm Doing Now, I'm Pretty Sure I Won't Be Doing After Kids

It all started last week.  Josh was sick the weekend before last and I received a less potent version of his illness.  By Monday evening I had a drippy nose and I had that "I'm sick" feeling.  On Tuesday morning I knew I would be able to go to work (I've worked through a LOT worse) but I also knew I would probably be blowing my nose all day and using half the bottle of hand sanitizer trying to prevent my germs from spreading to the kids.  And then of course once you start working it tends to drain your energy, thus causing the sickness to drag out.  So, I made a decision I don't often make.  I would stay home!  It was great.  I sat on the couch, lounged in chairs and allowed my pillow to get more Elizabeth time as I relaxed like I hadn't in a long time.  It gave me time to reflect on the jewel I had been given that day.  Time to get well.  By 3:00 that afternoon I was able to get some chores done around the house because I was feeling great! I had to laugh to myself as I was lounging again on the couch as I realized there is NO way I would have been able to be as non-productive as I was that day if there were children needing to be taken care of.  Now, I don't really speak from experience, just hearsay from other mothers out there.

From there, I started thinking about the activities in my life that would not be happening once we have children.  Some things I wonder how in the world I'm going to make it happen.  Some people might be wondering why I'm borrowing trouble.  Why am I even worried about it?  By nature, I'm a planner.  For some reason I think about situations before they arise and play out the scenario in my mind.  Some of you can relate with that, others can't.  That's differences in personality.  But, back to my list.

1. In the morning I have devotion time.  Some days I can be sitting there for an hour or more.  I'm pretty sure that unless I'm up SUPER early those devotions will have interruptions of getting breakfast, wiping hands and making sure all is in order.  I do try to practice on my dog by feeding her BEFORE I'm on the couch - even if I have to turn back around!  If I'm already seated I try to discipline myself and GET UP to feed her.  I think to myself "a kid isn't going to wait for their breakfast like Chloe does."  I did imagine yesterday a plump little body cuddling up to me as I was sipping my tea & reading.  Hmmm.  Does it really happen that way?

2. Josh is usually gone when I shower.  I do that after devotions.  Sometimes it doesn't happen until right before I'm rushing out the door to work.  I get busy with cleaning, doing laundry or writing a blog and time slips away.  Since I don't plan to rush out the door to work once we have Baby O around, when will my daily toilet take place? I guess there's always before SUPER early!

3. I had fun yesterday and the day before with my new Norwex cloth (Heather P I'm sure you appreciate that) to do some deep cleaning.  I had the six foot ladder inside my living room and was up and down getting the dust and grime off my ceiling fan. The light bulbs were on the couch as I had to screw them out to remove the glass shades.  They needed to be washed! I actually had fun.  Then I had my dining room all caddywompus to wipe down the light fixture.  My vacuum cleaner cord was in a pile on the floor, the table was pushed towards the sliding glass door and the chairs lay tilted this way and that on the floor as I needed to vacuum the dust off the leg bottoms. I know you can involve children in cleaning when they are a older, but a 1 year old??  I'm sure I would not have been as successful at having ladders and light bulbs laying around with Baby O to take care of.  Perhaps I won't even think of ceiling fan dust!

4. On Tuesday night Bonnie, Binh, Josh and I head to badminton.  We spend about 2-3 hours at a local high school gym getting some exercise.  I don't know what's going to happen with that.  I've heard say exercise is chasing children around.  Hmmm.  I also thought the two flights of stairs in college would help me maintain my weight.  It didn't happen.

5. I like to sit on the front row at church. Undisturbed by what's happening behind me I can be focused on what's happening in the service.  I guess in a little while I will be handling the disruption.

I sure hope this doesn't sound like complaining!  I'm too excited about having children to call it that.  This is simply my ramblings of "what will I do?" My realization that the last 15 years of my life of having things in order is about to change.

From everything I've heard though, from articles to cute poems, Moms everywhere let the toys scatter, let the dust gather and feel that showering doesn't matter. (Okay, maybe not that last one.) :)

I'm looking forward to seeing how God will replace my love of cleaning ceiling fan dust to wiping sticky hands and reading books three times through at one sitting.

Raises & Praises

I love simple things.  Picture this.  You are driving down the road with a red stoplight ahead.  As you slide your foot off the gas pedal to apply to the brake pedal the light suddenly turns green and you can coast on through.  You never applied the brake, you didn't really have to slow down.  You just kept on going.  I love it even more when there's a car waiting in the other lane at the stoplight (going the same direction) and you get to fly by him.  I guess that's my competitive side coming out. There's just something about that incident that I love.  I told you I love simple things.

Leaving out the competitiveness, we had something like that happen in our life.  As many of you know, I plan to be a stay at home mom after we adopt.  No more small paycheck coming in every other week for us!  Although I work part time and the money is not a huge amount, we appreciate and use the money that is brought in.  But we were willing to make the sacrifice of that money and learn to live differently.  I appreciate the times when God meets our needs ahead of time.  Up ahead I saw a red stoplight of income no longer coming in.  Put the brakes on folks, the budget is in for a rude awakening! Although I know this doesn't happen all the time, I want to give credit where credit is due.  On Friday, God blessed Josh with a promotion at work, effective November 11th! (It was cute how he told me.  He surprised me at work and took me out to a Chick-fil-A lunch.  After we got our food he handed me a post-it note folded in half.  On one side it said "Senior Analyst 11/11/13" the other side had a new salary amount.) He's been looking to have management experience and this will give him a new title, management experience and a higher salary.  I've been mentally impatient with the amount of hours/work he's been putting in lately and as a wife, I'm glad his hard work has some tangible benefits.  It's nice to see his hard work is appreciated.  Although it's not matching what we make together, it WILL be a nice increase to his paycheck.  No putting on the brakes. Just sail on through the green light.  Will we have to make some adjustments?  Sure.  Will we have other financial issues in the future?  Probably. But it was so sweet to me to see how this detail, this step in our journey was fulfilled by One who cares about even the sparrows.

Yes, I love simple things.  Those simple blessings are many times what increase our faith and carry us through difficult times.